They've taken back control — of absolutely nothing. Bring our island friends back to a functioning kitchen and a shared table.
Post-Brexit Britain is suffering from severe Splendid Isolation. We offer a continental hand: Adopt the Brits. A future without customs forms and with decent coffee.
Gentle re-education on centimetres. No inches. Ever again.
High-density digestive reserves to prevent acute withdrawals.
"A Brit without a European holiday is simply a very damp person waiting for a bus that may or may not exist."
— Continental Compassion Committee
Choose from Sarcastic Londoners to slightly confused Midlanders. All apologise for things they didn't do.
Ensure a high-quality kettle and a designated area for them to queue politely while waiting for the toaster.
Slowly introduce them to 24-hour pharmacies and reliable rail networks. Watch as their stiff upper lip trembles.
Registration is free. The Earl Grey is on you.
Because a meal deal is not a dinner.